Kathryn and I are neck-deep in cardboard boxes, and I’ve uncovered a number of items that are too valuable to throw away, but not valuable enough to spend my (very limited) time selling on Ebay or Craigslist.

Do you live in New York City? Any or all of these items are yours, provided you can come and pick them up this week. Call, text, email, or DM on Twitter if you’re interested.

UPDATE: All gone!

• Mac mini (PowerPC Model A1103): I don’t remember how fast the processor is. It’s either 1.25, 1.42, or 1.5 GHz. Brand new hard drive.
• AirPort Extreme (802.11g, Model A1034): Remember when wifi base stations looked like spaceships? SO EXTREME!!1
• Apple Mice: One wireless Mighty Mouse, one corded Mighty Mouse, and one Pro Mouse (no scroll ball).
• Canvas Jack Spade messenger bag (tan): I’ve had an item labeled “Clean and sell Jack Spade bag” on my to-do list, but I just never got around to it. A little detergent, a little elbow grease, and it’ll be like new. Perfect for carrying your Mac Mini, AirPort Extreme, and assorted Apple mice.
• Spice Rack: Our oft complemented, seldom used magnetic spice cabinet shan’t be making the move with us.

Kathryn and I have run out of space in our liquor cabinet. Bottles are, once again, spilling out into our dining room, and we’re faced with a decision: buy another cabinet, or figure out a way to fit more booze into our existing space. If at all possible, I would prefer the latter, so I’ve concocted an absurdly complicated plan to squeeze every last inch of space out of our existing cabinet (a sliding-door credenza from CB2).

Each half of the unit currently houses around 30 bottles. Most are 750ml, some less, and a few are infuriatingly shaped so as to consume the largest possible footprint while containing a small amount of liquid (ahem). Bottles in the back are difficult to reach, and any attempt at organization devolves into a game of Tetris.

I’m convinced that non-uniform bottle size is incompatible with a Manhattan-sized apartment. I searched the internet for inexpensive, square, tall bottles, suitable for rebottling hooch, and found this little beauty.

My quest for a 750ml bottle was fruitless, but I’m starting to think that 500ml bottles actually make more sense. A survey of our cabinet reveals that we have far more bottles that contain under 500ml of booze, than more. When new bottles are acquired, we can split the contents between two bottles, or gift/sell the overflow to friends (an appealing option for niche spirits, for which we want on hand for rinses or eyedropping).

With carefully measured, custom cut shelves, the bottles can be stored horizontally, and effectively double the capacity of our cabinet. Each side would be laid out thusly:

Bottles would be labeled, of course, and corresponding labels will be affixed to the edge of the shelves for ease of reference. I’m still working through this, but I’m currently favoring a solution based on magnetic tape and metal plates, so that labels can easily be moved.

Before I buy bottles and have shelves cut, I want independent, third-party verification that this isn’t a really stupid idea. Unless convinced otherwise, I’m placing an order for 132 glass bottles right after the Manhattan Cocktail Classic. If you, or anyone you know, has tried something like this and ended up with Gin all over their dining room floor, now would be an excellent time to speak up.

A substantial part of my childhood was spent, ass firmly planted on the sofa, watching Ken Ober host the television show, “Remote Control.” While there was initially some debate whether the rumors were true, the New York Times has confirmed that the quizmaster has passed on to that great game show set in the sky. Rest in peace, Ken.